wakey wakey hands off snakey
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize