Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
