It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
