Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
