You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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