its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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