every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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