I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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