glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize