My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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