Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
