He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
