First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
