Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
we're so committed to being not committed
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