My boss' voice literally gives me gas
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
