then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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