if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
