id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
