i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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