are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
