im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize