I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
