"it" just moved
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
