after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
