no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
