so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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