my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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