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If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
They took my balls.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
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