I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Randomize
