Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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