Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
