what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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