is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize