The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
