I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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