I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
