"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
