im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
