all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Still dying that you shit outside
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
