I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
