we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize