youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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