hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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