i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
