a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
