These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
