her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
