Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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