The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
