he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
nutella sex= disaster
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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