there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
