it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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