just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Randomize
