i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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