Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
