Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
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