On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize