Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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