This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
3 2 1 whiskey
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
